HAPPY FOOLS' DAY

HAPPY FOOLS’ DAY!!!!

(April 1, 2010)

I was awakened this morning by my 7-year old granddaughter Claire who informed me that the dog had made a mess in the house. As I began to get out of bed to investigate, she got me with “April Fool”, smiled her beautiful ‘gotcha’ smile, and ran back to her room.

A few minutes later, as I was trying to get back to sleep, her 5-year old brother Angus, who hadn’t quite mastered the vernacular, came in with the same message and, as I feigned surprise and started to jump out of bed, he shouted, “Happy Fools’ Day”.

As I think about “April Fool” vs. “Happy Fools’ Day”, I concede that Claire’s “April Fool” may be correct by historical standards. Supposedly Charles IX mandated the adoption of the Gregorian calendar in the 16^th Century, changing the beginning of the new year from April 1 to January 1, and those who rebelled against of were unaware of the change were called…..you guessed it…..and were subject to pranks such as being sent on ‘fool’s errands’. However, while Angus’ “Happy Fools’ Day” may have no foundation in the Renaissance, it does sound remarkably appropriate for the 21^st Century.

> Happy Fools’ Day to all those who voted for Obama and still support him after the most duplicitous and inept 14 months of any administration in our history, even worse than the peanut farmer. (At least Carter had run a farm and served in the Navy before what has been jokingly referred to as “his presidency”).

> Happy Fools’ Day to all the young idealists who thought they were voting for a better tomorrow for themselves, who believed in the siren song of the Socialists. It will be they and theirs who will be the inheritors of the crushing debt and witnesses to the disappearance of personal liberty. As a wise man once said, “Anyone who’s not a Socialist at age 18 has no heart – and anyone who’s still a Socialist at age 30 has no brain.”

> Happy Fools’ Day to our congress men and women who followed the Pied Piper, dancing to his tune and singing his song without knowing what the lyrics said. Following the up-coming election in November, those ex-career politicians who will not have been offered a seat on the Obama welfare trolley will find themselves seeking real jobs for the first time. The delicious irony here is that they will become part of the statistic that they helped to create – the unemployed.

And finally, let us pray that the electorate is not lulled to sleep over the next seven months, that the Republicans regain their conservative footing, that the independents continue their drift away from the liberal/progressive agenda of Soros/Obama presidency and that the center-right of this country prevails.

On my 78^th Birthday, November 3, 2010 (the day after the mid-term elections) I don’t want Angus wakening me once again with “Happy Fools’ Day”.

HAITI - THE LAND THAT GOD FORGOT

HAITI - THE LAND THAT GOD FORGOT

In 1791, a self-educated slave in the French Caribbean colony of Saint-Domingue started a revolution against France. Inspired by the French Revolution of 1789 and prompted by the writings of the French Enlightenment philosophers, particularly Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s “Rights Of Man”, a slave named Toussaint Breda (history calls him Toussaint L'Ouverture – also the “black Napoleon”) led this slaves’ revolt, breaking away from Napoleon’s France and leading to the creation of the independent nation now known as Haiti in 1804. Throughout its more than two centuries of existence since, Haiti has been characterized by abject poverty, political instability and repression, superstition and despair, to which were added astonishing measures of death and destruction on January 12, 2010.

Just by happenstance, I had started re-reading Graham Greene’s THE COMEDIANS, one of my favorite books by my favorite author, on the weekend preceding the devastating earthquake in Haiti. THE COMEDIANS, set in that particular hell that was the Haiti of the despotic Papa Doc Duvalier and his secret police (the Tontons Macoute), was published in 1966. Greene had first visited Haiti in the 1950’s, fell in love with the place and the people, and had made several visits prior to the publication of his book. THE COMEDIANS drew worldwide acclaim which only intensified the resentment and enmity of Papa Doc and precluded Greene from ever stepping foot on Haitian soil again.

THE COMEDIANS is a novel that incorporates several of Greene’s themes - betrayal, redemption, commitment and, most appropriate to the current situation, loss of faith. He explores these themes against the backdrop of poverty, repression and brutality that seems to have characterized Haiti forever, but was particularly pronounced during the 14-year reign of Papa Doc which ended with his death in 1971 and was followed by another 15 years of his son, Bebe Doc, who was ousted in 1986.

The principal non-Haitian characters (the comedians) meet on a ship bound for Haiti. Brown (Greene’s narrator) is a non-committed half-Englishman returning to Port-au-Prince after a short absence. He is returning, somewhat reluctantly, to the capital city to resume his role as owner/manager of a hotel he recently inherited from his mother. Brown finds himself involved in the lives and deaths of several Haitians as well as the lives of the other comedians and the death of one. The other comedians include Smith, a one-time US Presidential Candidate (he received over 10,000 votes in 1948) and his wife, both dedicated vegetarians who are bound for Haiti on a misguided mission to convince the government of Papa Doc to work with them to improve the diet of the locals. Jones (he calls himself Major Jones) is a shadowy character who may or may not be the military man he claims to be and whose involvement leading some of the anti-Papa Doc rebels proves fatal.

The fascination of Graham Greene’s story lies, not only in the descriptions of Papa Doc’s Haiti, but against this background, how these comedians become involved with the Haitians who inhabit that particular hell on earth. The Haitian Dr. Magiot, a committed Communist who lives on the razor’s edge as an opponent of Papa Doc, was also one of Brown’s mother’s lovers as well as her trusted physician and advisor. Brown gets to know, admire and trust the Haitian doctor and, through him, starts to learn something about himself, his faith and his own lack of commitment. This question of commitment is also evident in Brown’s affair with the wife of a Haitian diplomat. Through other Haitians, one of whom works at his hotel, Brown gets to witness an all-night voodoo ceremony in the hills beyond Port-au-Prince. Born into the Catholic faith, Brown recognizes some of the Latin phrases used in the rituals, the “Agnus Deis” and “Libera nos a malo”, he witnesses a priest biting off the head of a live chicken and he hears another priest summoning the gods of Dahomey, including Baron Samedi, the skull-faced, top-hatted, dark sunglass-wearing, cigar-smoking voodoo god of death. In the novel, Greene has his narrator Brown make several references to Papa Doc Duvalier as “Baron Samedi” and, to the extent that the Tontons Macoute all wore dark sunglasses, the imagery is rather pointed.

It is interesting that Greene’s Catholicism was used by the slaves to disguise the beliefs they carried with them from West Africa, the combination of the two becoming Haiti’s belief system called voduo (voodoo). The slaves would publicly recite their OUR FATHERS and HAIL MARYS as a part of their ceremonies to convince their masters that they had, indeed, adopted Christianity, all the while incorporating and keeping intact their African beliefs and rituals.

The whole question of faith is summed up near the conclusion of THE COMEDIANS in Dr.Magiot’s letter to Greene’s narrator, Brown, who has been forced to flee from Haiti. Dr. Magiot knows that his own end, at the hands of Papa Doc, may be imminent and counsels Brown:

"If you have abandoned one faith, do not abandon all faith. There is always an alternative to the faith we lose. Or is it the same faith under another mask?"

It well may be that Dr. Magiot’s advice would apply equally to today’s post-earthquake Haitian population. The million or more homeless may well be in the process of abandoning all faith, at least in their own institutions, and seeking other more responsive gods. On the other hand, it may be that, in January 2010, all of Haiti’s masks were dropped and, while the Haitian people may not have abandoned all their faiths, their faiths may have abandoned them.

It might turn out that the only god who matters anymore is Baron Samedi, their voodoo god of death.

WAR TIME LEADERS

WAR TIME LEADERS

Resolute, purposeful, direct, compelling and non-political

FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT – 1941

“As Commander-in-Chief of the Army and Navy I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense, that always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people, in their righteous might, will win through to absolute victory.

I believe that I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost but will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us. Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our armed forces, with the un-bounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph. So help us God.”

WINSTON SPENCER CHURCHILL - 1941

“We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and the oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be.

We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.”

GAIUS JULIUS CAESAR - On Crossing The Rubicon/49 b.c.
' (As recounted by Suetonius-Roman historian and biographer)

'Still we can retreat! But once let us pass this little bridge, - and nothing is left but to fight it out with arms!’

Caesar cried out, ‘Let us go where the omens of the Gods and the crimes of our enemies summon us! THE DIE IS NOW CAST!’

KING HENRY V - Battle of Agincourt: October 25, 1415.

“He which hath no stomach to this fight, let him depart; his passport shall be made, and crowns for convoy put into his purse; we would not die in that man’s company that fears his fellowship to die with us.”

“We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; for he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother”.

* * * * * * * * * * *

.......and then we have……

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA II – On Afghanistan/Nov. 1, 2009 at West Point

“….the review has allowed me ask the hard questions, and to explore all of the different options along with my national security team, our military and civilian leadership in Afghanistan, and with our key partners. Given the stakes involved, I owed the American people - and our troops - no less.

This review is now complete. And as Commander-in-Chief, I have determined that it is in our vital national interest to send an additional 30,000 U.S. troops to Afghanistan.

After 18 months, our troops will begin to come home.”

* * * * * * * * *

In the words of GENERAL GEORGE S. PATTON:

“Americans play to win at all times. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost nor will ever lose a war.”

Note: General Patton’s reasoning that America ‘has never lost nor will ever lose a war” holds true as long as it is applied to America's Military, not its politicians.

A MODEST PROPOSAL - CASH FOR CLUNKERS II

- A MODEST PROPOSAL -
CASH FOR CLUNKERS II
From: Citizen Jack Deeney

In which the proposer, mindful of the generosity of spirit and brilliance of enterprise demonstrated by our nation’s Central Planning Committee, all the while adhering to the general concepts that people are the riches of the nation and that the wealth of a country derives from the poverty of the majority, does hereby offer:

a proposed combining of two governmental programs into one, preventing the aged in America from becoming a burden to their children or to their country and for making them beneficial to the Public.

CONTEXT

As I travel through the metropolitan areas and lesser towns and villages of this great land, I am struck by the growing numbers of people my age (76) and older who are making demands upon their children, grandchildren and, indeed, upon the state itself. I think it is generally agreed by all parties that this prodigious number of old clunkers is, given the present deplorable state of the country, not only a melancholy object but also a very great additional grievance and burden.

Therefore, whoever would find a fair, cheap and easy method of making these superannuated citizens to be more useful to the commonwealth, would deserve so well of the public as to have his statue set up as a preserver of the nation. Our leaders in the Great White Mansion, in the halls of the Congress and in the Palace of the Czars have begun to set their enormous talents and public-spirited selves upon this and diverse other matters affecting our economic malaise and, amongst their displays of genius, are two separate plans, each of which contains a piece that would prove integral to the purpose of A MODEST POPOSAL, offered by this humble servant of the state.

My proposal is to extract the appropriate sections and philosophies from each of these two specific brilliantly conceived and well-crafted plans, fusing them together to arrive at the final solution. As for my single self, having been wearied by many years of fruitless effort in attempting to deal with the ills of this increasingly vainglorious society, I have finally stumbled upon something which lies easily within our power to affect and which will exact no measure of condemnation from our neighbors. I shall now, therefore, be brief in humbly proposing my own thoughts, which I trust will not be liable to the least objection.

THE CURRENT SITUATION

The two separate and existing plans to which I reference above and which have been authored by our benefactors are briefly described:

The first is the newly introduced CARS program (Car Allowance Rebate System), similarly known as Cash For Clunkers, designed to get older machines off the road and out of existence. Our political leaders deem it a boon for both our ecology and our industry; in the first instance by displacing old, inefficient machines and their noxious emissions and, in the second, by making room for newer, more efficient models with more pep and stamina and fewer dents and wrinkles. This program is overseen by an apparatchik called the CAR CZAR and bears an official manual of 317 pages, instructing the populace on the prescribed manner in which to turn in machines for immediate destruction, receiving cash payments in return which are the principal prerequisites for generating widespread happiness.

The second is the older PHARTS program (Public Health and Retrograde Treatment System), otherwise known as The Healthcare Reform Bill. This reform promises, at least in part, to carefully guard the public treasury from squander in the provision of any costly procedures and treatments whose only purpose would be to improve or extend life beyond certain reasonable and socially acceptable limits. Such limitations are enumerated in the 1328 pages of the simplified proposal currently undergoing agonizing scrutiny by members of our Legislative bodies. The final version of this effort is to be presented to the Supreme Executive for approval prior to being handed to the PHARTS TSAR for implementation.

I have been assured by very knowing members of our Medical Profession and of Industry that the combination of the salient features from these two programs would provide immediate and effective remedy to the decline in our fortunes.

OUR PROPOSED EXECUTION

For purpose of discussing the proposed combined system, I shall continue the basic reference as Cash For Clunkers, appending only the suffix ‘II' to provide differentiation. As such, no disrespect is intended for those who would most directly bear the impact of the program’s benevolence, desirous only of establishing a readily identifiable frame of reference for all further consideration.

In its most simple manifestation, Cash For Clunkers II, under the supervision of the PHARTS TSAR, will mandate that children or grandchildren (or other duly credentialed blood relatives, neighbors or casual acquaintances) must deliver the elderly forebears (anyone aged 75 or greater) to an officially sanctioned governmental entity for immediate destruction and recycling. The specifics of the manner in which such activities are to be accomplished will be determined by the PHARTS TSAR, in consultation with The Central Planning Committee.

Such procedures would be initiated at any of the thousands of former Chrysler and GM dealership locations that will have been refurbished as Relic Recycling Centers. It is the considered opinion of this proposer that such facilities would indeed be suitable to the task at hand, possessing pleasant public areas (former sales rooms) for use in the humane processing of the incoming relic in a non-threatening environment so as to disturb neither the recycler nor the recyclee, as well as more restricted, out-of-sight areas (former service bays and oil pits) for achieving the final disposition.

The ultimate goals of the program are few and eminently attainable. Whilst the removal of millions of non-productive members from the body politic would remain the principal objective and on its own, constitute an economic virtue to be admired, it must be emphasized that this is a recycling effort, with little waste anticipated.

Upon presentation of properly executed and notarized forms, the Recycling Mini-Tsars in charge of each Center would then take possession of said Relics and assort them into differentiated groups by virtue of the primary occupation to which each had devoted his or her productive years. These discrete categories would then move through separate, distinctive paths towards their final disposition. I have taken the liberty of suggesting to our Central Planning Committee the following categorization for initial consideration:

1. Clergy of any denomination (excluding, of course the self-ordained who would be included with Politicians, see #2 below)
2. Politicians, Bureaucrats, Telemarketers and Used Car Salesmen
3. Journalists, Television reporters and other Fiction Writers
4. Attorneys and Magistrates
5. Physical Laborers, Shopkeepers and Office Workers
6. Police and Military
7. Publishers, Editors and Literary Agents
8. Professional Athletes (Not to be used for compost due to possible steroidal contamination of the food supply.)
9. Prostitutes (male, female and otherwise)
10. Tango Instructors, Personal Trainers and College Professors
11. Actors, Dancers, Singers, Writers, Stand-Up Comics and anyone else who pretended for a living
12. Prisoners currently residing in Penal institutions (Subject to further examination, this latter group may be set aside as many consider that these have already been ill-used by society, by parents, by any race of which they are not a member and by the unwarranted hostility of their victims.)

The reader may take note of the fact that I have excluded several professions in the foregoing itemization. This was purposeful on my part, for those not mentioned above will be utilized otherwise, viz:

A. Management Consultants, Tarot Card Readers and other Fabulists - to assure the Relics that the plan has their better interests at heart.
B. Butchers, Surgeons and Anesthesiologists - to perform the required activities (including dissection) in the most perspicacious and humane manner.
C. Astronauts - to prepare the unused portions of the relics’ remains for transport to NASA to be paced in large cylinders for eventual launch into fixed earth orbit. (While the proposer is not technically inclined and possesses no knowledge of such matters, it is anticipated that a sufficient number of such orbiting cylinders would deflect the sun’s rays and delay the destruction of the earth contemplated by the global warming cabal).

ECONOMIC BENEFITS THEREFROM

Social Security – a not insignificant portion of the wealth sequestered in the Social Security Trust Fund (consisting wholly of Promissory Notes from Congress who, in their overarching wisdom, have utilized the actual funds for unrelated sundry purposes) could be otherwise employed at the discretion of said same Congress. These IOU’s might be distributed amongst the larger states (California, Ohio, Pennsylvania and New York) for their uses in keeping their creditors at bay and other shovel-ready projects, as well as in the larger cities (Detroit, Cleveland, Chicago and New York) as vacation vouchers for their Privy Council members and their paramours.

Nursing Homes - economies will be gained not only through elimination of the physical premises, along with the associated costs of food, medications, cable television and bingo paraphernalia, but staff could be reassigned, with little additional training, as prison guards or toll booth attendees.

Meals on Wheels – This beneficial program could be converted to insure the provision of sustenance for the offspring of those otherwise unable (or unwilling) to do so, such as addicted mothers, priests and profligate sperm donors.

Organ Transplants – Most of the organs harvested in the recycling process may prove to be of limited value, due to mileage, overuse and/or abuse during the life of the donor. However, there may be some organs from specific donors that could demand a premium in the marketplace. Examples might be the genitals of some clergy (those that have not been exposed to excessive use), brains of those politicians who have only felt and never thought, and hearts from those politicians who have only thought and never felt. However, it is the opinion of this humble proposer that maximum financial benefit will derive from the sale of politicians’ olfactory organs, which have rarely been used to discern the odors of their own malfeasance.

OTHER BENEFITS ACCRUING TO THE COMMON GOOD

Ancillary benefits accrue, not the least of which would be the ability to free up millions of HANDICAP PARKING SPACES for use by the general public. Although, to an extended degree, restrictions on the use of such spaces by the non-handicapped are largely ignored, savings would be derived from not having to issue the permits, create and install the signage, paint the lines and pass out the summonses, all of which are generally disregarded in any case.

In the further interests of economy, the duties of the PHARTS TSAR might be assumed at no additional cost by one already on the public payroll, a functionary whose duties are mostly ceremonial, whose mutterings are always of interest to the media, whose intelligence is not beyond suspicion and who is occasionally welcomed in the White Mansion. I refer of course to the Vice President but, should he be deemed unavailable or incapable, one of the White Mansion’s groundskeepers could surely be pressed into service.

I have also been assured by several learned psychologists, who have been made privy to my deliberations, that the enforced removal of multitudes of our more elderly citizens might exert a salutary effect upon the pro-choice constituency, slaking their thirst and thereby lessening the extent of their support for abortion-on-demand. I recall one of the psychologists referring to a phenomenon she called ‘fulfillment substitution’ (or some such) but, beyond that, I can offer no further clarification.

While I have not yet assembled the statistics, another salutary result might be the reduction in membership in the American Association of Retired People. AARP is basically a marketing organization whose primary function is to sell stuff to older citizens and turn over part of their profits to the support of liberal/progressive causes. My proposed program would, upon implementation, remove a large and impressionable portion of AARP’s buying public and, thereby, adversely affect its profitability. However, there is a remedy that has proven so successful in other instances. That would be the nationalization of AARP, cutting out the middleman and having the funds flow directly into the ruling party’s coffers.

Additionally, a lesser but not insignificant benefit would derive from reducing the demands on doctors’ offices and hospitals. Such slack could be put to more efficacious uses such as plastic surgery, body piercing, tattoo removal and other societal boons.

Being a Christian myself, and not unmindful of the possibility that some may view my suggestions with some degree of distaste, I take comfort in reflecting upon the words of E. B. White. “In a man's middle years there is scarcely a part of the body he would hesitate to turn over to the proper authorities.”

Should our leaders overcome their antipathy to the proposition that any citizen who does not contribute in an economic or political way makes the country poorer, I pray that they should quickly adopt my MODEST PROPOSAL.

* * * * * *

Author’s Note: In 1729, Jonathon Swift proposed a similar plan to the Irish, A MODEST PROPOSAL, suggesting that they eat their children as a remedy for the problems of the day. His approach was… ”based on the testimony provided by …a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked or boiled….”

In 2009, 280 years later, I have made this pitiful attempt to emulate him. Both you and he are deserving of my profound apologies.

From:IN THE REAR VIEW MIRROR
Jack Deeney
Danbury, CT
August 6, 2009

LEST WE FORGET - JULY 27, 1953

1.
Four specters rose from morning’s mist
Each held a weapon in his fist.
Four soldiers, tattered khaki clad,
Four who’d given all they had.
2.
Four times a year they gathered round
The Unknowns’ Tomb, their hallowed ground,
This sacred squad from Kingdom Come,
To celebrate what they had done.
3.
They marched forth from the womb of dawn,
From separate generations born.
Each brave and bold, once bound for war,............THE NY JOURNAL-AMERICAN
Now young and dead for evermore.................................July.27, 1953
4............................................................................Burris Jenkins, Jr.
The first, his taste of combat brief,
Had lain awash on D-Day beach......... .
He thought of home and she who’d grieve....................
Then closed his eyes and took his leave.
5.
The second one, on Pork Chop hill,
Took three foes with him as he fell.
The trench his tomb, the sky his shroud,
His final prayer, “I hope dad’s proud.”
6.
The third, in Mekong, met his fate,
Flew home in flag-draped wooden crate.
His widow’s tears could not deflect
The peaceniks’ foul-mouthed disrespect.
7.
The fourth had newly joined the squad,
(A roadside bomb inside Baghdad)
Before he died he prayed that he
Might kiss the son he’d never see.
8.
But this was now two thousand nine.
The land they died for in decline.
No more the greatest place on earth.
Their sacrifice had lost its worth
9.
Their countrymen had gone astray,
Had tossed their heritage away.
Forgotten Pearl and Peleliu.
Forgotten 9/11 too.
10.
Forgot Inchon and Heartbreak Ridge.
Forgot Da Nang and Quang Tri Bridge.
These four who fought and bled and died
Just turned their heads away and cried.
11.
Each tried his hardest to disguise
(He couldn’t to his comrades show)
The tears that welled within his eyes;
From pain that only warriors know.
12.
“Not pain from death - Death’s part of war,”
They’d tell you if you couldn’t guess.
“But pain that comes from hist’ry’s whore,
That strumpet called forgetfulness.

A WIZARD IS A WIZARD AFTER ALL

Dorothy.........If you were really great and powerful, you'd keep your
......................... promises!

Wizard........Do you presume to criticize the Great Oz? You ungrateful
.........................creatures! Think yourselves lucky that I'm giving you an
.........................audience tomorrow instead of twenty years from now!
.........................Oh! The Great Oz has spoken!
........................ Oh! Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
.........................The Great Powerful-- has spoken –

Dorothy.......Who are you?

Wizard........Well, I - I - I am the Great and Powerful - Wizard of Oz.

Dorothy.........You are?

Wizard........Uh -

Dorothy.........I don't believe you!

Wizard.........No, I'm afraid it's true. There's no other Wizard except me.

Scarecrow...You Humbug!

Lion...............Yeah!

Wizard.........Yes - that's exactly so - I'm a humbug.

Dorothy......Oh - you're a very bad man!

Wizard.........Oh, no, my dear. I - I'm a very good man. I'm just a very
........................bad Wizard.

A humbug? A very bad man? A very good man? A very bad wizard? Just 100 days into a new administration, these are the questions being asked by an increasingly disillusioned electorate. As buyer’s remorse starts to creep in, America is just starting to ask the questions it should have been asking two years ago. The country wants to know who it is that it has chosen to be its President. More importantly, who is it that lurks behind the curtain, producing the sound and light show and projecting a two-dimensional face to the transfixed masses? Exactly who is this Modern-day Wizard of Oz?

Throughout the campaign, Barack Hussein Obama presented himself as the anti-Bush to a weary electorate – an electorate that had been beaten over the head for over seven years by the liberal media’s constant drumbeat against President Bush. Forget about the absence of any more 9/11 attacks. Forget about the Democratic fingerprints all over the sub-prime lending debacle at the heart of our banking/credit crisis. Forget about the miserable performance of Princess Pelosi’s Democratic Congress. The citizens of Oz had been convinced that Bush did nothing right and all the bad things happening to them were Bush’s fault. Forget about the gymnastic feats of tax dodging, influence peddling, social engineering and other malfeasance of Democratic members of Congress. Forget about the headline-grabbing transgressions and worse of Democratic Governors. In the Land of Oz, Republicans are the party of greed and self-indulgence. The Democratic Party represents goodness and light, a massive tent sheltering all of life’s victims.

If you’re a victim because your neighbor earns more than you, welcome. If you’re a victim because you’re a single mother with four children from three different fathers, and need someone to support your fatherless household, your pain is felt. Welcome. If you’re a victim because you believed the spiel of the snake-oil salesman and invested in his promise of unrealistic financial returns, we respect your innocence and hold you blameless. Welcome. If you’re a victim because you disagreed with the policies and laws of the foreign country in which you were born and decided to disregard this country’s laws and enter illegally, we are not judgmental. Welcome to our healthcare system, our educational system, our banking system. Welcome to our everything.

Into this tent rides The Manchurian Candidate, a worker of wonders, a sorcerer with super human powers. With “CHANGE” emblazoned on his cape and riding a white charger named “MEDIA”, he promises to wave his magic wand and make us all feel better again, ‘cause that’s what a wizard does. And, in the absence of any sense of personal responsibility, we seek supernatural solutions to our everyday problems. We seek wizards. If we see our crops are dying from lack of rain, we call in a wizard called “The Rainmaker”. If we overeat and become overweight, we call in a wizard called “The Diet Doctor”. If we lack meaning in our lives, we turn to a wizard called “The TV Pop Psychologist”. If we seek excitement for our lives, we rely on a wizard called “The Celebrity”. And, when we feel we can’t shift for ourselves any longer, we cede all responsibility for our own well-being to that biggest Wizard of all, the one we call “The Government”.

In his quest to be the biggest Wizard of all, Barack went forward as the essential jedermensch, the everyman, ‘fellow citizen of the world’, as he called himself in Berlin in July 2008. He was all things to all people, sensitive to everyone’s misfortune, promising to use his healing powers to solve all of the world’s ills. When elected he would be President of all the people and no one would escape his largesse. Since the election, he has performed well as the teleprompter reading, canned speech delivering, talking points enumerating, stand-up comic – the not ready for prime time President.

He is the embodiment of Oz, the direct opposite of the Miracle Worker. The real Miracle Worker, Annie Sullivan, used her talent and tenacity to enable Helen Keller to know and communicate with the real world beyond her blindness and deafness. She managed to penetrate the black and soundless world of a young girl and gave her the tools to create an abundant life. On the other hand, we have the Ozian Wizard, Obama, who uses his talent to blind us to reality while delivering the message fed to him by the shadows behind the curtain.

In the final analysis, what is our Wizard capable of delivering? If we look at the model, the original Wizard of Oz, we may get some guidance.

Education -...Did the Wizard of Oz give the scarecrow a brain? Did he
...........................educate him? No, he only presented him with a diploma
...........................so he’d feel educated. Sound familiar?

Healthcare - Did the Wizard of Oz give the Tin Woodsman a heart?
...........................No, he only presented him with a ticking clock to make
...........................him think he had a beating heart. Might this be a
...........................metaphor for healthcare reform?

Security -.......Did the Wizard of Oz give the Cowardly Lion courage?
...........................No, he only gave him a medal with the word “courage”
...........................written on it. Word instead of action. Form instead of
...........................substance. Bye-bye to National Security.

But, what’s the difference if he’s good or if he’s bad? A wizard is a wizard, after all.

"GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"

"GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"

Monday – 9 February 2009

Today I did several things. On and off throughout the day I watched television accounts of the wrangling over the proposed 1 trillion dollar Democratic spending (excuse me, economic recovery) plan. I listened to President Obama (echoed by countless Democratic politicians and liberal pundits) follow though on his promise to bring civility and bi-partisanship to the process, by attacking the so-called ‘failed policies’ of the last eight years and blaming all our ills on Bush. I saw President Obama pandering to the citizens of a small town, a town with a 15% rate of unemployment, a town whose economy is almost completely dependent on relatively large, fairly expensive, fuel inefficient Recreational Vehicles. No irony there. I heard him tell the country that the Pelosi/Reid spending plan was America’s must-do, must-do-immediately, must do-or-die bail-out package. I saw the NEWSWEEK cover which says “WE ARE SOCIALISTS NOW” and, while channel surfing, I caught the end of PLANET OF THE APES where Charlton Heston screams out in frustration at the people who had destroyed his planet, “God Damn You All To Hell!”

I am sure that many of my countrymen, if not most, would agree with me when I vent my frustration at the people who would destroy my country, "God Damn You All to Hell!"

➢ I am sick to death of the Democrats screaming about the ‘failed Bush policies of the past 8 years”. Up until the Democrats took control of Congress 2 years ago and Speaker Pelosi started spreading her wings, we were doing just fine, thank you. (In spite of Osama bin Laden, the naysayers of the mainstream media and the assortment of befuddled leftovers from the drug-infused anti-war at any costs crowd.) Up until Barney Frank, Maxine Waters and other Democratic officials, in cahoots with their Liberal/Progressive allies at Acorn and Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, helped destroy our housing industry, undermine our banking industry, debauch our currency and wreak havoc upon our society in general.

➢ I am amused at the performance of our ‘Not ready for prime time’ President, all style and no substance, using his first televised press conference to recycle all of his old campaign speeches, thinly disguised as rambling answers to questions posed by his adoring press. (Even as I write this, I am hearing the smartest man in the world refer to OPEC and when they were “first formed in the early 70’s”. What’s a decade or so, more or less, anyway? (Since when has historical accuracy been a prerequisite in political speech?)

➢ When asked about Senator Leahy’s plan to go after members of the Bush Administration for the ‘crimes’ they committed over the last eight years, President Obama said that anywhere a crime has been committed, a law broken, the people responsible should be prosecuted. No one is above the law. I wonder if Tim Geithner, Charlie Rangel, Tom Daschle and Barney Frank were listening and, if so, have they lawyered-up and gone into hiding?

➢ President Obama said he was disturbed that Alex Rodriguez was guilty of using performance-enhancing drugs. After his performance during the first few weeks of his administration, I’d suggest he contact A-Rod’s supplier.

➢ And finally, according to Newsweek - WE ARE ALL SOCIALISTS NOW -

“In many ways our economy already resembles a European one.
As boomers age and spending grows, we will become even more French.”

Make you feel good? Then - ALLEZ VOUS TOUS À L’ENFER.

LIFE IMITATES ART

LIFE IMITATES ART
- or -
SECOND CITY SHENANIGANS

To the extent that the Chicago political morass is the cesspool from which the incoming Obama administration arose and the Illinois political circus is the flavor of the month, it would be helpful if we could learn more about that City and that State. What really constitutes Chicago Politics? What really constitutes the ‘pay-for-play’ approach to Illinois Politics?

As to Chicago Politics and its impact on the President-Elect, the mainstream press has had two years to investigate and hasn’t yet asked question number # 1. To underscore the complete lack of vetting of Obama by the mainstream media, in a conversation between Tom Brokaw and Charlie Rose on Public Television shortly after Obama’s election victory, they both indicated that they had no idea of what Obama might do as they didn’t know enough about him. Watching them, you also realized that that same lack of knowledge was not an impediment to their overblown opinion of him.

As to the Illinois ‘pay-for-play’ political supermarket, it will probably be another few months before U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald releases any more information regarding Governor Blagojevich's own version of THE PRICE IS RIGHT.

So, what are we to do? Where do we go to get our questions answered? To whom do we turn to gain enlightenment? As the only providers of wisdom in the real (?) world would seem to be the Liberal/Obama press and television networks, it just might be that our only source for context might be the world of make believe, the movie-makers of Hollywood, the titans of tinseltown.

For instance, if the movie THE GRADUATE were to be released today, on the eve of President-Elect Obama’s push for massive infrastructure expenditures, rather than in 1967 when the Baby-Boomers were more interested in massive inhalation experiments, the one iconic line from the screenplay might be changed just a bit. The advice to Dustin Hoffman’s character, young Benjamin Braddock, ”I have one word for you, plastics” , could be rewritten as “I have one word for you, asphalt”. Especially if young Benjamin lived in Illinois where, if you dig deep enough with your government-issued, TARP-funded digging implement/shovel, you just might find some very well connected asphalt providers, their commercial sticky fingers embedded in political tar babies.

In the movie SOME LIKE IT HOT, a pair of down-at-heels musicians (played by Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon) are accidental witnesses to a mob rubout in a Chicago parking garage. They flee their mob pursuers and join up (in drag) with an all-girls orchestra entraining for a gig in Florida. The movie ends when a dotty old rich guy (comedian Joe E. Brown) proposes marriage to the cross-dressing bass violin player (Jack Lemmon) forcing Lemmon’s character Daphne to reveal his charade, whipping off his wig and admitting his maleness. An iconic movie moment was born when Joe E. Brown deadpanned Billy Wilder’s (and I. A. Diamond’s) classic closing line, “Well, nobody’s perfect”.

That line might also apply to Governor Blagojevich's defiant choice for the successor to Obama’s Senate seat. As Eric Zorn wrote in his column in The Chicago Tribune the other day, Roland Burris is “.....annoying, but he's not a nitwit, a kook or a criminal.” Certainly not perfection, but who could ask for anything more?

In the satirical movie musical CHICAGO, based on the Broadway musical, an earlier play of the same name and, ultimately, the real-life adventures of two Chicago jazz age female killers, almost everyone is a sleaze. “Cell Block Tango” is a number from the show in which the “six merry murderesses of the Cook County jail” plead their innocence. “He had it coming. He had it coming. He only had himself to blame.” In the current situation, it could be rewritten as the Blago Tango, the song and dance wherein Governor Rod Blagojevich (D-Illinois) explains himself. “I had it coming. I had it coming. And I know how to play the game.”

Incidentally, up until Chicago’s tryouts, the musical had another character, The Agent, whose role was to exploit the notoriety of the six imprisoned murderesses for his own gain. This character's role was eventually cut from the show, along with his song, Ten Percent. In our rewrite, we might consider restoring that character, or giving his song to Blago with a significant increase in the percentage.

I’m still trying to decide what we can do with another number from the show, The Press Conference Rag, but Blago may have already exhausted all possibilities.

As an aside, notwithstanding the expertise of Chicago’s Democratic machine in election rigging (see Joe Kennedy), it may not be the only hotbed of Democratic sleight of hand. In their book Defining Moments in Journalism, Nancy J. Woodhull and Robert W. Snyder relate the following episode concerning a well-known Texas Democrat and his version of ‘One person – One vote’.

“On at least three separate occasions he (LBJ) told (David) Brinkley about how he committed voter fraud in Texas. When first running for the Senate, Johnson and a group of friends scoured a graveyard looking for names to add to the voting rolls. When one of the friends found a stone that was difficult to read, he wanted to skip it. According to Brinkley, Johnson responded: 'You will not skip it. He’s got as much right to vote as anybody in this cemetery.'”

With this in mind, I’m considering a rewrite of one of the classic horror films, THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, as a sort of metaphor for our election system. Perhaps we might film it in Minnesota.

THE OLDEST, ESTABLISHED, PERMANENT FLOATING CRAP GAME IN NEW YORK

NATHAN DETROIT - MEET SKY PAULSON
PAULSON - MEET DETROIT

“It’s the oldest, established, permanent floating crap game in New York.”

(GUYS & DOLLS – ‘A Musical Fable of Broadway’ - by Frank Loesser out of Damon Runyon)

GUYS & DOLLS opened on Broadway 58 years ago last month (November 24, 1950) at the 46th Street Theater in New York. The tale is built around Nathan Detroit’s famous ‘floating crap game’. There’s a lotta guys in town looking for action, including Sky Masterson, and Nathan is having problems raising the thousand bucks he needs to underwrite the game.

“If we only had a lousy little grand, we could be a millionaire!”

Nathan tries to boondoggle Sky Masterson into a sucker bet regarding the Save-A-Soul mission doll Sarah Brown, but Sky doesn’t fall for it. However, Sky does fall for the mission doll and, when Nathan’s game finally gets going, Sky finds himself throwing the dice for the ‘souls’ of all the other unholy rollers. If he can deliver these Broadway bums into Sarah Brown’s soul-saving hands, her ministry will be saved.

Recently, the show was redesigned and the updated version, revised to be more in line with current events, is now playing in our nation’s capital.

GUYS & DOLLS & FANNIE & FREDDIE

‘A Musical Fable of a Beltway Bailout’ – by the United Auto Workers out of the U.S. Congress

The revival previewed on Monday September 30, 2008 at The Theater of The Absurd (located somewhere in the Capitol Building in Washington, D.C.) and officially opened later that same week, Friday October 4, 2008. The show is still a work in process and continues to undergo revisions as it plays out its limited run.

THE CAST

NATHAN DETROIT .................................Hank Paulson
SKY MASTERSON ....................................Franklin Raines
SARAH BROWN .......................................Nancy Pelosi
ADELAIDE ................................................Maxine Waters (evenings) - Barney Frank (matinees)
HARRY THE HORSE ...............................Harry Reid
ANGIE THE OX ........................................Paul Sarbanes - Mike Oxley (alternates in role)
JOE THE PLUMBER ...............................Himself
BRANDY BOTTLE BATES ......................Ted Kennedy
BIG JULE FROM CHICAGO ..................Big Barack from Chicago
BENNY SOUTHSTREET .........................Ron Gettelfinger
SOCIETY MAX .........................................Henry Waxman
NICELY - NICELY JOHNSON ...............John McCain
RUSTY CHARLIE ....................................Chuck Schumer
JOEY BILTMORE ....................................Christopher Dodd
LT. BRANNIGAN .....................................George Bush

THE STORY

All the heavy rollers were in town, loaded with lettuce and looking for action. Harry the Horse, Big Jule from Chicago, Brandy Bottle Bates, Angie the Ox, Rusty Charlie to name a few, along with the heaviest roller of all, Sky Masterson. And, if you’re looking for action, Nathan Detroit’s floating crap game was where you found it. Nathan knew he could make a killing but he was having problems finding a secure location to house the game. The Union Garage on South Street would be best but Benny Southstreet, the guy who controlled it, wouldn’t negotiate his price. He wanted all his money up front, all of it in his fingers before he’d let anybody use the place. On top of that, the heat was on from his competition, the gang from across the aisle which considered such an enterprise not to be Kosher, as well as from the law in the person of Lt. Brannigan.

To raise the money and save the game, Nathan Detroit tries to boondoggle Masterson into a sucker bet……….but, we’ve gone over all of that already.

The preview critics were mixed in their reviews of this musical comedy in two acts, which by now was being referred to as the ‘Beltway Bailout’. More than half of them thought that the basic concept was faulty, the overall production shoddy and the investors would lose their shirts. Others agreed with the show’s concept but thought that it needed extensive rewriting and restaging and should spend more time out-of-town before being brought back in for the official opening.

A slightly altered version of the show was quickly cobbled together, some songs were added and the resulting conglomeration had its official opening on October 4, 2008, four days after the original preview. This time, a sufficient number of the critics held their noses, changed their minds and gave it a thumbs-up, enough to ensure its survival.

THE MUSICAL NUMBERS

Act I

* “Fannie Mae Ain’t Falling Down”–to the tune of London Bridge(Nancy Pelosi/Company)
* "Fugue for Tinhorns" (Chuck Schumer/Chris Dodd/Harry Reid)
* "Follow the Fold, Swallow the Gold" (Nancy Pelosi/Barney Frank/Chris Dodd)
* "The Oldest Established Permanent Floating Crap Game" (Hank Paulson)
* "I'll Know When Sub Prime Comes Along" (Franklin Raines/Nancy Pelosi)
* "I Love You a Bushel and a Peck" (Barney Frank/The Hot Box Girls)
* "Adelaide's Lament" (Maxine Waters/Barney Frank)
* "Guys and Dolls and Fannie and Freddie" (le tout ensemble democratique)
* "If I Were a Bell" (Nancy Pelosi/Franklin Raines)
* “I've Never Been in Love Before" (Franklin Raines/Nancy Pelosi)

Act II

* "Take Back Your Tarp" (Maxine Waters and The Hot Box Girls)
* "More I Cannot Get You" (Ron Gettelfinger)
* "Crapshooters' Ballet" (The Democratic Congress)
* "Luck Be a Lady" (Franklin Raines)
* "Sue Me" (Hank Paulson)
* "Shut Up, You're Blockin' the Vote" (Chuck Schumer and the Chorus)
* "Barry’s the Man Today" (le tout ensemble democratique)
* "Finale" (Company)

Two numbers not in the original libretto were taken from other shows and added during tryouts:
From–OF THEE I SING – “Of Thee I Sing, Baby” as “FDIC Baby” – (Henry Waxman)
From–ANNIE GET YOUR GUN–“Anything you can do, I can do better”(Barack/John McCain). This number was dropped a month after the opening.

The show that evolved shifted the locale from The Great White Way to inside the beltway but retained the theme of ‘the floating crap game’. Despite their relatively tepid reviews, the critics agreed there were a few memorable moments. The best of these was Nathan Detroit’s all-night crap game in the basement of the Treasury Building, in which Franklin Raines, as Sky Masterson, demonstrates his willingness to roll the dice for the souls of all his fellow gamblers in ‘Luck Be a Lady Tonight”.

The critics also singled out Chuck Schumer’s going against type in his comic turn as Rusty Charlie, trying to avoid the cameras during the ensuing police raid.

While there are rumors that the show will close in Detroit, it struggles on, still undergoing revisions, still without a closing scene, but remains -

‘The oldest, established, permanent floating crap game in New York’

Note: Many people have played Nathan Detroit – Sam Levene in the original production in 1950, Frank Sinatra in the 1955 movie, Nathan Lane in the recent Broadway production and, at various productions in between, Walter Matthau, Alan King, Robert Guillaume and Jack Deeney, among others. (Personally, I think Deeney was the best.)

THE HISTORY LESSON

THE HISTORY LESSON

In a piece several months ago, during the more feverish segment of the 2008 Presidential campaign, I commented about Obama accusing McCain of trying to bring about the 3rd Bush term. I concluded then that I would prefer that to what Obama was promising, the 2nd Carter term. (I’ve even heard Christopher Buckley refer to it as the 1st McGovern term). Now, with McCain’s defeat, the former can’t come true and, with Obama’s announced selection of members of his administration, neither might the latter two.

The Obama assemblage of familiar names from recent history leads many to posit that he is slapping together the 3rd Clinton term. (The moment we hear that Monica Lewinsky has been named as Secretary of the Interior, we’ll know for sure.) However, Obama’s entering into an asexual ménage à trios with the Clintons in January 2009 will occur in a world vastly different from that of January 1993, when the Clintons sidled into the White House, courtesy of Ross Perot.

So, what has history to tell us about that difference and what might it whisper in our ear about Obama’s presidency?

1. CLINTON had won the White House with the support of only 43% of the voters, his victory aided in no small part by the 3rd party candidate, Ross Perot, garnering 19% of the popular vote.
OBAMA’s victory was less a blowout than many of his supporters expected, but he won convincingly, receiving 53% of the popular vote. Not exactly the mandate they were looking for, but a significantly more impressive win than Clinton’s.

2. CLINTON was handed a burgeoning economy, already on its way to record levels. After eight years, he handed off a declining economy, a recession to his successor, George W. Bush.
OBAMA will be greeted by a worldwide recession, at the root of which is the freezing up of the credit markets, caused principally by the Democratic Congress and their misuse of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

3. CLINTON began his regime in a fairly peaceful world, the USSR no longer a threat. He was handed the ‘peace dividend’, the freeing up of large amounts of money which might otherwise have gone to Defense had Reagan not won the ‘cold war’. Despite a series of terrorist attacks on U.S. interests here (The World Trade Center in 1993) and abroad (Khobar Towers in Saudi Arabia in 1996, the United States embassies in Dar es Salaam and Nairobi in 1998, the USS Cole in Yemen in 2000), Clinton engineered major reductions in our military strength and did little to carry the fight to the terrorists. (Aspirin factories don’t count!)
OBAMA steps right into the middle of a worldwide jihadist threat, with on-going U.S. military commitments in Iraq and Afghanistan, along with Iran as an over-hanging menace. Fortunately for Obama, there is no longer an Arab-Israeli problem as Jimmy Carter solved that, as attested to by his Nobel Peace Prize……or, did I miss something?

4. CLINTON had a less than sparkling 1st two years, taking a long time to put his team together and making several missteps before the biggest one of all, HillaryCare. It took Newt Gingrich’s ‘Contract with America’ in 1994 to regain Republican control of Congress, leading to Welfare Reform, tax reductions and the first balanced budget in decades. Lord only knows what might have happened in the Clinton years had the Democrats continued to control both the Legislative and the Executive branches.
OBAMA, in contrast, is assembling his team early and it’s not unreasonable to hope he’ll be ready to move immediately after inauguration. However, with the three tenors in the White House (Barry, Hillary and Bill) and the back-up singers in the Congress (Nancy and Harry), hope is not an easy thing to come by. Apprehension is more like it. And, while we were all alarmed about Candidate Obama’s ‘share the wealth’ philosophy, the spate of recent and impending bailouts of just about every failing enterprise Congress and the Administration could find, has already turned Washington D.C. into Moscow on the Potomac. President Obama will be hard-pressed to do worse.

So, how will Obama govern? The psychological and monetary costs of the current financial collapse will impede (if not completely negate) his ability to throw the taxpayers’ money at every social problem. His desire to move to socialization (if such a desire really exists) may not be capable of fulfillment. As to Iraq, he will inherit a winning hand from George Bush and there’s a good chance he’ll play it out. The last thing Obama could afford to do is to acquiesce to his lunatic far-left fringe, pull out of Iraq prematurely, and let history saddle him with the disastrous consequences certain to follow. And how will he handle the Clintons? Quite possibly, we’ve been given a peek at the Hussein side of the Barack Hussein Obama gene pool. Is he acting in accordance with the old Bedouin admonition about it being better to have the camel inside the tent pissing out?

“History is just one f**king thing after another.” Alan Bennett – ‘The History Boys’

JACK DEENEY
November 30, 2008

THURSDAY'S CHILD

THURSDAY’S CHILD

Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child that's born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny, blithe, good and gay.

I arrived on this planet on Thursday, November 3, 1932, within a few days of Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s election to the first of his unprecedented four Presidential terms. It was the depth of the Great Depression and my father struggled to pay the $10 it cost for my mother and I to spend our first seven days together in Manhattan’s Park Lane Hospital.

I celebrated my 76th birthday on the day before Barack Obama’s historic election, another unprecedented piece of Presidential history and, though it was not the depth of a depression, the market had lost over 30% of it’s value since my 75th birthday and was still sinking. I won’t even try to guess how much 10 days in a hospital would cost today.

Being born on November 3, 1932 made me Thursday’s Child, indicating that I had far to go. Now that can be interpreted in two ways, either that I was destined for greatness or, more likely, that there was significant room (if not an absolute need) for improvement. After 76 years, I can testify that it was the latter circumstance that prevailed then and still obtains.

In the same vein, October 24, 1929 (3 years and 1 week prior to my arrival) also produced a Thursday’s Child. That child was christened Black Thursday, the day when stock prices on the New York Stock Exchange fell sharply, beginning the week-long crash that gave birth to the Great Depression. Hopefully, there will be no further parallels between then and now.

There are many other miserable Thursdays, but I will not belabor the point. Obviously, there are many good Thursdays, such as the one on which Thomas Edison was born. Suffice it to say that, of the 6,722,810,033 inhabitants of this planet (yes, I counted), it is statistically sound to posit that approximately 960, 401, 433 (1/7) are Thursday’s Children, split pretty evenly between good and bad, male and female, acceptable and annoying, but very few destined for greatness.

However, there is one very special Thursday’s Child to whom the circumstance, destined for greatness, most certainly applies. She’s a bit older than I, having been born on Thursday, July 4, 1776. She’s indeed destined for greatness, already having achieved a great deal of it in the relatively short historical period of her existence. Right now, she is under attack from many quarters, within and without. The attacks from without have been there for all of her existence and, whether sneak attacks or frontal assaults, she’s been able to handle them. The only exception was Vietnam, where her internal enemies were able to force her to turn victory into defeat, leading to the slaughter of untold millions in Southeast Asia and the opening of a permanent, festering wound in her bosom. That festering wound keeps trying to heal, but the same anti-war, anti-American crowd from the 1960’s keeps picking at the scab.

So, it’s the attacks from ‘within’ that are most worrisome, whether they are the frontal assaults from the liberal/progressive factions on either of her coasts, from every level of her educational system where the concept of Akademische Freiheit is interpreted as the academic freedom to express only liberalism, from the overwhelming majority of her mainstream media and, most disturbingly, from within her own government.

The potentially mortal blow she has received from her own Congress in their criminal misuse of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac has severely damaged her and, by extension, the entire globe. Their manipulation of these two pillars of her mortgage market turned home-renters into home-owners into homeless while bringing the world’s financial system to its knees. Barney Frank and his accomplices have succeeded where the 9/11 terrorists failed, they’ve crippled her economy, debased her reputation and caused her to empty her Treasury in an attempt to stop her citizens’ bleeding.

As Vladimir Ilyich Lenin put it, “The best way to destroy the capitalist system is to debauch the currency.”

Now, with the party of Barack Obama in control of all three branches of her government, you can be certain that there will be no effort made to punish those responsible for this debacle. But you will see everybody else dragged before endless committee hearings to be harangued and browbeaten by the posturing Poo Bah’s of what is jokingly referred to as her ‘The House of Representatives’. You can also look forward to her Congress spending an inordinate amount of time and effort to criminally prosecute members of the outgoing administration.

Yes, this ‘Thursday’s Child’, this blessed nation, has far to go, just to get back to where she was. She can only pray that her new President will be wise and strong and take good care of her. That her new President be more Harry Truman (another Thursday’s Child) and less Jimmy Carter. That her new President remain vigilant against the outside threats while bandaging the wounds caused by the insiders. That she can keep smiling.

For, as proclaimed Gabriel Syme (G.K.Chestertons’s “The Man Who Was Thursday”) ,

"Always be comic in a tragedy. What the deuce else can you do?"

MEMO TO SELF

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU
AND HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THERE?

You’ve lived through a depression, several recessions, 12 presidents (6 of whom you voted for), a world war, a ‘cold war’, several other declared and undeclared ‘hot’ wars and a ‘police action’ in which you participated. You’ve witnessed the space race, men walking on the moon, little man-made vehicles traversing the Martian landscape as well as little Japanese-made vehicles traversing the American landscape. You’ve seen the malevolent influence of the drugs and sex driven zombies of the 1960’s anti-war, America-hating left, the crowd which dragged this country through the disgraceful retreat/defeat in Vietnam, and whose influence and progeny will continue to pollute our politics for generations to come. You’ve watched the rise and fall of communism and its related collectivist ideologies all over this planet and you now sense the very real possibility of their rebirth, in the United States, of all places. You’ve no way of knowing what else may be in store, but nothing really surprises you anymore.

Now, two days after your 76th birthday, and one day after casting your vote for John McCain and watching him lose to Barack Obama, you sit there pondering the future of America under President Obama. You sit there wondering what the hell has happened over the last two years and, more importantly, what might happen in the next four. Has your country become a place where emotion has completely replaced reason, where respectful disagreement has been replaced by harangue, where all the failed collectivist ideologies of this planet’s history will find a new home?

You’ve given up analyzing this presidential campaign, trying to understand why a thoroughbred with the track record and credentials of a John McCain was unable to win the race against an untried and unproven individual with no track record and a long list of questionable relationships. You feel you know the four reasons for McCain’s loss. First, the liberal-oriented mainstream press has been telling the country for almost eight years how George W. Bush is a disaster, a stupid man, the worst president ever. The fact that he was re-elected 3+ years ago means nothing to them. Is it any surprise then, with the constant battering of the media, that Bush is held in low regard? All Obama had to do is wrap Bush around McCain’s neck, even though McCain often disagreed with Bush. Secondly, the Republicans behaved like Democrats for the past six years, helping to spend us into the deficit mess we now enjoy. Thirdly, and very importantly, about seven weeks before the election, the economy tanks as a result of the Democratic Party’s meddling in the mortgage market, using Freddie Mae and Freddie Mac to pollute the market with sub-prime mortgages. The Democrats, in effect, converted home-renters into home-owners into homeless as the mortgage market tanked and took the rest of the economy with it. The fact that it happened on George Bush’s watch, along with the fact that the Democratic controlled congress had neither the desire nor the will to address the problem at its source and endanger their presidential candidate, was a killer for McCain. Finally, and most importantly, the Democratic candidate proved to be one of the most capable and adroit politicians ever to seek the Oval Office, was able to raise and spend unheard of amounts of money and ran a masterful campaign.
However, you now hear esteemed members of the mainstream media admitting that they are hard-pressed to predict what our new President will do because they just don’t know the man, have no sense of who he really is.

Perhaps, you think, if they hadn’t spent all their time and effort pulling Obama’s bandwagon and avoiding any examination of the man, his associations, his voting record or his campaign promises, they might have attained some knowledge of the man behind the charisma. If they had replaced some of their adulation with the slightest bit of journalistic integrity and curiosity they might have achieved some sense of what they were enabling.

Perhaps, on reflection, you really can’t blame the young for voting the way they did. It is no surprise that the young are idealistic. It is also no surprise that many have been influenced by their teachers and professors and, to a large extent, by peer pressure. But, they voted honestly and in great numbers. And if, as they mature, they are able to maintain some of their idealism and factor in some degree of wisdom gained from experience, it could auger very well for our future.

Perhaps the overwhelming number of blacks voted along racial lines. That shouldn’t surprise you or distress you. If you were black, you very well may have done likewise. Human nature is an integral ingredient of the political process.

Barack Obama was not your choice but he will be your President. So, pray for him and his family, pray that the Lord give him wisdom and strength to lead us through the current financial and economic mess. Pray that he fully recognizes the need for us to be strong in the face of our enemies. Pray that he sees the wisdom (if not the necessity) of governing from the center. Pray that he adheres to his campaign promises to do just that and does not allow the far left faction of his party to drag him (and us) closer to socialism or into the self-destructive sewer of capitulation, recrimination, retaliation and vengeance.

So there, self. I hope that closes the book for you on this election. Go on with your life, fight the good fight and do whatever you can to help your party reclaim its principles, if not its very soul.

Regards,

Me

JOURNALISM, THEY USED TO CALL IT

"Better in my grandfather's day," he told me, shaking his head sadly.
"We grow progressively more Philistine," I suggested.
"It is our cheap press. The ephemeral overwhelms the permanent, the classical."
"This journalism," I agreed, "or call it rather rather this piddling quotidianism*, is the curse of our age."
"Fit only for......." He gesticulated clutchingly with his hands as though seeking the word.
"For the fire."
The old man was triumphantly emphatic with his, "No: for the sewer."

THE BOOK SHOP - ALDOUS HUXLEY
* 'daily recurrence' (I had to look it up. I thought I'd save you the trouble.)

FAREWELL ADDRESS TO THE GRADUATING JOURNALISM MAJORS - CLASS OF 2008

"CIVICS 101 - GO YE FORTH AND CHANGE THE WORLD"

Welcome to all of you, the top dozen Journalism majors of this year’s graduating class, the cream of the crop. This will be the first and only session of CIVICS 101 and will last, at most, 10 minutes. Successful completion of this session will satisfy the final requirement for your Journalism degree. Any questions?

No questions, that’s a good journalistic sign. As journalists, you must be prepared to trust your own pre-conceived notions and not stoop to being influenced by what less intelligent people might call facts. However, if there remain any areas of curiosity at the conclusion of the session, I will be glad to entertain your questions then.

Now, because you are who you are, I’ll skip over the lecture and proceed to the final examination. Don’t worry, it shouldn’t be too difficult for, as we’ve kept reminding you, you’re all superior individuals.

Open the envelope on your desk and remove the one-page test sheet inside. As you see, it consists of four questions, all of which are multiple choice. Take a minute to scan it while I read it to you, as I know you all dislike reading anything someone else has written. After which, we’ll proceed to the actual examination.

1. WHEN IS ELECTION DAY?

A. The 1st Tuesday in November.
B. The 3rd Friday in February.
C. Barack Obama’s birthday.
D. Any day you feel like voting.

2. WHO MAY VOTE?

A. Any citizen of the United States, eighteen years or older.
B. Anyone, citizen or not, regardless of age, living or dead.
C. Any resident of the United States, legal or otherwise.
D. Anyone registered by ACORN (including 'B' and 'C', above).

3. HOW SHOULD A VOTER DECIDE FOR WHOM TO VOTE?

A. Examine the issues along with the candidates’ experiences and characters.
B. Follow the advice of movie stars, rock stars and other intellectual giants.
C. Rate how the candidates speak, look and dress, not how they think and act.
D. See how much each promises to take away from someone else to give to you.

4. WHAT WOULD CAUSE RIOTS AND DISTURBANCES IN THE INNER CITIES?

A. Obama Loses.
B. Obama Wins.
C. Either of the above.
D. None of the above.

Now that we’ve reviewed the test, it’s time to grade your answers. I will assume that each of you made an emotional connection with one answer to each of the four questions. As I give you the correct answers, I want you to grade yourselves. As Journalism majors, you’ve been taught never to accept the criticism of others, so we expect you to grade your own responses.

THE ANSWER ‘A’ in each case is archaic, not at all emblematic of change. It reeks of yesterday, the old world, not the new world, not the world you want to create.

THE ANSWERS ‘B’ and ‘C’ in each case may be desirable or beneficial, but are only parts of the whole, steps in the right direction, falling short of fulfilling your progressive dreams.

THE ANSWER ‘D’ in each case is the correct answer, the progressive answer, the doorway to the new world, as I’m sure you all realized immediately.

May we have a show of hands of those who had the correct answer? All of you. I’m not surprised. As head of the Department of Journalism I’ve tried to be your guide through the intricacies of our Electoral process and I’m proud of your accomplishments.

Ooops! I see we have two people with questions. We’ll start with the young man in the second row. What’s on your mind? …….Thank you, I’ll repeat your question for the class. You want to know what the word ‘intricacies’ means. Well, that’s my fault. Perhaps I should have used a simpler expression. Think of it more as the trivial details of the process which, frankly, you needn’t worry about.

And you, young lady by the window. You also had your hand up……..I see, you want to know why Journalists have to know anything about the Electoral process. A very good question.

The answer has two aspects. In the first instance, you must exhibit at least a passing acquaintance with the process in order to feign objectivity and attract a following. However, as you progress through your career and your personal convictions become more important than the facts, this ‘objectivity’ may become at least a distraction or, more seriously, a detriment to the overall mission for which we’ve prepared you, that is, to change the world.

I see there’s another question from the same young man in the second row………”No. I’m sorry, but we don’t have enough time to explain all the words you don’t understand. Be comforted by the fact that, wherever you’re going to be working, words will not be as important as mood, your point of view, the emotion involved beneath the surface. Remember the motto of what used to be the nation’s premier newspaper, “All the news that fits us, we print.”

And, need I remind you that the old ‘report the news and keep your opinions to yourself’ school of journalism that may have been appreciated by your grandfathers is outdated. As I said before, your studies here have prepared you to change the world, not merely parrot useless facts. Truth must be dealt with. When the truth doesn’t further your personal agenda, distort it. When it threatens your agenda, destroy it.

Now go forth, you seekers of Utopia, you instruments of change, and help bring about your courageous new world. And should the God in whom you do not believe actually exist, may He have mercy on your souls!

THE 'PETER THE PLUMBER' PINCIPLE

“I think when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody.”
Barack Huessin Obama

"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul."
George Bernard Shaw

Assume that Shaw’s Peter is a plumber and Paul is a philosopher and reflect on this from the late John Gardner, LBJ’s head of HEW from 1965 to 1968.

"The society that scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water."

Now, try substituting the word “taxes” for “scorns” and “politics” for “philosophy” and you might have something more appropriate to our current situation, to wit:

"The society that taxes excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in politics because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good politics. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water."

The dirty little secret of the prevailing Liberal Democrat theory of spreading the wealth is that it can work only where there is unlimited wealth. For there will be, most certainly, no shortage of outstretched hands and upturned mouths on the receiving line. And as each of the SOWS (Spreaders Of Wealth) gets sucked dry of his or her available supply of spreadable wealth, when all the wealth has been spread, when the supposedly infinite store of largess has been dispensed, what then? Do we then tell all the recipients that SUCKISM has run its course and they must now become the spreaders and reverse the flow? Does the SUCKER become the SUCKEE? Who is John Galt?

As long as we’re asking questions, does the statement, “From each according to his means and to each according to his needs” mean anything to you? Does the phrase “Spreading the wealth” send a quiver up your leg or a shiver down your spine? We have seen ample proof in the last century of the efficacy of Socialism. It would seem improbable that we would need to be reminded of the Cuba of Fidel Castro, the Russia of Josef Stalin, (see also Poland, Hungary, Latvia, East Germany, etc.), the Venezuela of Hugo Chavez, and the other failed experiments in human misery.

Given these historical tragedies, when is the last time you really thought about what this country is all about, what philosophy has enabled its success, what innate sense of morality has guided its development, what inspired ideology has informed its goodness and what strength of spirit has protected it?

My advice to my fellow-citizens is simple. Be informed. Know from whence we came and how we got here. Remember that what’s best for the country is also best for you. However, also realize that what’s best for you is not always best for the country. And to my younger fellow-citizens, at least those who think, beware falling victim to the pack mentality. The pack has been known to turn on itself when other prey becomes scarce. And finally, as a wise man once said, “If you’re not a socialist by the age of 20, you have no heart. If you’re still a Socialist at age 30, you have no brain.”