THE OLDEST, ESTABLISHED, PERMANENT FLOATING CRAP GAME IN NEW YORK

NATHAN DETROIT - MEET SKY PAULSON
PAULSON - MEET DETROIT

“It’s the oldest, established, permanent floating crap game in New York.”

(GUYS & DOLLS – ‘A Musical Fable of Broadway’ - by Frank Loesser out of Damon Runyon)

GUYS & DOLLS opened on Broadway 58 years ago last month (November 24, 1950) at the 46th Street Theater in New York. The tale is built around Nathan Detroit’s famous ‘floating crap game’. There’s a lotta guys in town looking for action, including Sky Masterson, and Nathan is having problems raising the thousand bucks he needs to underwrite the game.

“If we only had a lousy little grand, we could be a millionaire!”

Nathan tries to boondoggle Sky Masterson into a sucker bet regarding the Save-A-Soul mission doll Sarah Brown, but Sky doesn’t fall for it. However, Sky does fall for the mission doll and, when Nathan’s game finally gets going, Sky finds himself throwing the dice for the ‘souls’ of all the other unholy rollers. If he can deliver these Broadway bums into Sarah Brown’s soul-saving hands, her ministry will be saved.

Recently, the show was redesigned and the updated version, revised to be more in line with current events, is now playing in our nation’s capital.

GUYS & DOLLS & FANNIE & FREDDIE

‘A Musical Fable of a Beltway Bailout’ – by the United Auto Workers out of the U.S. Congress

The revival previewed on Monday September 30, 2008 at The Theater of The Absurd (located somewhere in the Capitol Building in Washington, D.C.) and officially opened later that same week, Friday October 4, 2008. The show is still a work in process and continues to undergo revisions as it plays out its limited run.

THE CAST

NATHAN DETROIT .................................Hank Paulson
SKY MASTERSON ....................................Franklin Raines
SARAH BROWN .......................................Nancy Pelosi
ADELAIDE ................................................Maxine Waters (evenings) - Barney Frank (matinees)
HARRY THE HORSE ...............................Harry Reid
ANGIE THE OX ........................................Paul Sarbanes - Mike Oxley (alternates in role)
JOE THE PLUMBER ...............................Himself
BRANDY BOTTLE BATES ......................Ted Kennedy
BIG JULE FROM CHICAGO ..................Big Barack from Chicago
BENNY SOUTHSTREET .........................Ron Gettelfinger
SOCIETY MAX .........................................Henry Waxman
NICELY - NICELY JOHNSON ...............John McCain
RUSTY CHARLIE ....................................Chuck Schumer
JOEY BILTMORE ....................................Christopher Dodd
LT. BRANNIGAN .....................................George Bush

THE STORY

All the heavy rollers were in town, loaded with lettuce and looking for action. Harry the Horse, Big Jule from Chicago, Brandy Bottle Bates, Angie the Ox, Rusty Charlie to name a few, along with the heaviest roller of all, Sky Masterson. And, if you’re looking for action, Nathan Detroit’s floating crap game was where you found it. Nathan knew he could make a killing but he was having problems finding a secure location to house the game. The Union Garage on South Street would be best but Benny Southstreet, the guy who controlled it, wouldn’t negotiate his price. He wanted all his money up front, all of it in his fingers before he’d let anybody use the place. On top of that, the heat was on from his competition, the gang from across the aisle which considered such an enterprise not to be Kosher, as well as from the law in the person of Lt. Brannigan.

To raise the money and save the game, Nathan Detroit tries to boondoggle Masterson into a sucker bet……….but, we’ve gone over all of that already.

The preview critics were mixed in their reviews of this musical comedy in two acts, which by now was being referred to as the ‘Beltway Bailout’. More than half of them thought that the basic concept was faulty, the overall production shoddy and the investors would lose their shirts. Others agreed with the show’s concept but thought that it needed extensive rewriting and restaging and should spend more time out-of-town before being brought back in for the official opening.

A slightly altered version of the show was quickly cobbled together, some songs were added and the resulting conglomeration had its official opening on October 4, 2008, four days after the original preview. This time, a sufficient number of the critics held their noses, changed their minds and gave it a thumbs-up, enough to ensure its survival.

THE MUSICAL NUMBERS

Act I

* “Fannie Mae Ain’t Falling Down”–to the tune of London Bridge(Nancy Pelosi/Company)
* "Fugue for Tinhorns" (Chuck Schumer/Chris Dodd/Harry Reid)
* "Follow the Fold, Swallow the Gold" (Nancy Pelosi/Barney Frank/Chris Dodd)
* "The Oldest Established Permanent Floating Crap Game" (Hank Paulson)
* "I'll Know When Sub Prime Comes Along" (Franklin Raines/Nancy Pelosi)
* "I Love You a Bushel and a Peck" (Barney Frank/The Hot Box Girls)
* "Adelaide's Lament" (Maxine Waters/Barney Frank)
* "Guys and Dolls and Fannie and Freddie" (le tout ensemble democratique)
* "If I Were a Bell" (Nancy Pelosi/Franklin Raines)
* “I've Never Been in Love Before" (Franklin Raines/Nancy Pelosi)

Act II

* "Take Back Your Tarp" (Maxine Waters and The Hot Box Girls)
* "More I Cannot Get You" (Ron Gettelfinger)
* "Crapshooters' Ballet" (The Democratic Congress)
* "Luck Be a Lady" (Franklin Raines)
* "Sue Me" (Hank Paulson)
* "Shut Up, You're Blockin' the Vote" (Chuck Schumer and the Chorus)
* "Barry’s the Man Today" (le tout ensemble democratique)
* "Finale" (Company)

Two numbers not in the original libretto were taken from other shows and added during tryouts:
From–OF THEE I SING – “Of Thee I Sing, Baby” as “FDIC Baby” – (Henry Waxman)
From–ANNIE GET YOUR GUN–“Anything you can do, I can do better”(Barack/John McCain). This number was dropped a month after the opening.

The show that evolved shifted the locale from The Great White Way to inside the beltway but retained the theme of ‘the floating crap game’. Despite their relatively tepid reviews, the critics agreed there were a few memorable moments. The best of these was Nathan Detroit’s all-night crap game in the basement of the Treasury Building, in which Franklin Raines, as Sky Masterson, demonstrates his willingness to roll the dice for the souls of all his fellow gamblers in ‘Luck Be a Lady Tonight”.

The critics also singled out Chuck Schumer’s going against type in his comic turn as Rusty Charlie, trying to avoid the cameras during the ensuing police raid.

While there are rumors that the show will close in Detroit, it struggles on, still undergoing revisions, still without a closing scene, but remains -

‘The oldest, established, permanent floating crap game in New York’

Note: Many people have played Nathan Detroit – Sam Levene in the original production in 1950, Frank Sinatra in the 1955 movie, Nathan Lane in the recent Broadway production and, at various productions in between, Walter Matthau, Alan King, Robert Guillaume and Jack Deeney, among others. (Personally, I think Deeney was the best.)